we're blogging at a bar
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
