WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Mom said you looked used
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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