is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
