We're like a lot better than the average bears
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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