I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
