I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
