what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
