...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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