They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
