are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize