i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
