he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
