they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Semen is not good for contacts.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
