the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
