hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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