i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
