The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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