my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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