He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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