Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
