is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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