Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
