THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
