you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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