i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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