btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
