she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize