Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize