The maid of honor just puked.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
