I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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