Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
