Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
