I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
