Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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