You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
