Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
