My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize