And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
