I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
