How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize