He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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