I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
