"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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