I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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