You smell like stripper and shame
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
