I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
