i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
