just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
