Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
