sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
