The best revenge is premature balding
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
