This is not my ceiling
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
