my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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