I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
