i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
