Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
