So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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