How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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