thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
