Porn is love you can see.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Text me some of your sweat
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
