Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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