ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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