The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
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