The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
