Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
