You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
