So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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