I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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