When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize