There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
