I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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