i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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