I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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