Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
