I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
