Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
