Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just googled if crying burns calories
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
