TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
