Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
tell me about the eggs
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
