im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
