dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
