he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Randomize
