just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
organizing the empties. That sober.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
