Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
