Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
